22 FLAGS SCARIER THAN THE ONE ISIS FLIES

By CHRIS BUNTING / Yahoo Travel (edited version above)

March 18, 2015 -- There are a lot of things you don't want to see in your rear-view mirror while driving down the street — a cop's siren, a bear, Bruce Jenner talking on a cell phone.

But the scariest would have to be a ski-masked guy in a pick-up truck waving a black ISIS flag.

That flag — a twisted take on the more-than-a-millennium-old Black Standard — has pretty much become the embodiment of horror du jour.
 
But not just because of the group's live burnings and cannibalism pranks. The flag itself is freaky — all black and sinister, with a misshapen, imperfect circle and messy handwriting.

It's this generation's Jolly Roger.  

But is it the scariest flag on Earth? Here, some vexing vexillology that could give it a run for its money.

Albania

The Chang and Eng Bunker of the flag world, Albania's Siamese-twin eagle proves that when it comes to being the scariest Balkan state, two heads are better than one.

Wales

Only Khaleesi could find the Welsh flag cute and cuddly.

Bhutan

Or maybe the Mother of Dragons would prefer this South Asian kingdom's flag, whose mascot's skin tone better matches her hair.   

Wassersport (German Water Sports)

Worst. Popeye tattoo. Ever. This swastika-anchor flag flew on the boats of Germany's civilian yachtsmen and recreational fishermen during the Third Reich. Also, on the worst booze cruises of all time.

Isle of Man

There's something truly "Human Centipede"-ish about this Irish Sea island's flag, which unabashedly displays the three-legs-sewn-together monstrosity that is the triskelion. Funny how the birthplace of the Manx cat is so obsessed with severed appendages. Scary.  

Sicily

Oof, marone! Then the mob had to come along and slap a Medusa head (but with wheat, instead of snakes, oddly) on the triskelion and make it even scarier. Show-offs.

Pskov

If you needed any more proof that God is a cat person, there's this spiritual Russian city's flag which shows the hand of god reaching down to pet a snow leopard. And it, being a cat, probably swatted back at him.  

Saudi Arabia

Sure, that skinny sword looks more like something you'd skewer olives on before using to stir a martini. But still, for a country that still publicly beheads its criminals, uh, message received.

Angola 

That's not a knife. This is a knife. The southern African nation goes full machete with its flag — and whatever that cog wheel did to deserve it, I'm sure it learned its lesson.  

Sri Lanka

This subcontinental nation's flag sees your blades and raises it a lion holding one. The House Lannister must be so jelly this isn't their sigil.

Pardubice

 If you find this Czech city's half-horse flag in your bed, you best cast Johnny Fontane in the war movie you're making — that's all I'm saying.  

Siauliai 

What's the scariest part of this Lithuanian city's wackadoo banner: The angry bear, the flying Illuminati eyeball pyramid or the threat of heart disease red meat poses? Three-way tie.    

Benin Empire

 If Mortal Kombat had an official flag, this would be it. Belonging to a pre-colonial West African empire, it clearly shows one guy — naked, by the looks of it — decapitating another. Sigh, the more things change, the more they stay the same. "Finish him!"

Lombardy

 Is that Ebola? AIDS? Disney measles? Whatever it is, this Italian region's germ-under-a-microscope, er, "cross" flag is in desperate need of a Purell cleanse. Stat.

Nation of Celestial Space

 If Twitter ever demotes itself down to a country, it might want to retweet this micronation's flag as its own, which was way ahead of its time with its hashtag fetishism back in 1949. At its peak, the Nation of Celestial Space had 19,059 members — or less than one-tenth the followers Grumpy Cat has.

 Irkutsk

This Siberian city's flag hosts a black panther who, given those dilated bloodshot eyes, has taken one too many bong rips. No wonder he has the munchies bad enough to gobble up a poor defenseless sable.

Mozambique

 How this isn't the flag of Texas is beyond me, but Mozambique's is the only national flag in the world to depict a rifle. And not just any rifle — an AK-47.  With a flippin' bayonet, no less!

Grammar Nazis

 Even more loathsome than actual Nazis are Grammar Nazis, so it's (or is it "its"?) with zero irony they earn this flag and its many online variants.

Front Deutscher Äpfel (Front of German Apples)

Sure to strike fear in the hearts of Droid and PC users everywhere is the flag of the Front of German Apples, a satirical anti-fascist organization based in Germany. The odds Steve Jobs had one secretly folded away in his closet? Better than not.  

Buraku Liberation League

Looking more like freaky sex 'cuffs from "50 Shades of Grey" than anything higher-minded, this "crown of thorns" flag was flown by human rights activists fighting for Japan's shunned untouchable social class, the Buraku.  Buraku lives matter!

Wallonia

If Little Jerry Seinfeld went up against this red-feathered beast, it'd be a murder most fowl. Fittingly, the population of south Belgium's Wallonia Region — filled with French-speaking, French-identifying folk — fly a banner with a bird as strutting and cocky as they are.

Syrian Social Nationalist Party

Almost as scary as the thought of ISIS and the Nazis teaming up is if their flags got together. If they mated, their baby would probably look something like the SSNP's flag, which the party (established in 1932, BTW) claims displays nothing more than a zouba'a, or cyclone; an innocent combination of a Christian cross and a Muslim crescent. Hmmm, it sure does look familiar, though.